Letter Zero 34
Dear friend,
Something is loose in my refrigerator, when I open the door the light flashes and then turns off. It just takes a slight twist of the bulb to restore the electric current so that the light will stay on. You know me, I see metaphors everywhere and this annoying little light bulb seems to be a reflection of my energy levels recently. I haven’t been able to keep the light on consistently. Is it just me or have you felt this too?
When I talk about creative energy, I like to use the idea of a flywheel. Once the heavy wheel is spinning it will continue to turn even if the energy you add is intermittent. For me this has been the secret to maintaining many side projects while juggling a full-time job, a family, and training for marathons. As long as the wheel doesn’t stop there is forgiveness within the system. My moods can rise and fall without hindering my output.
But...
What do you do when the wheel stops?
What do you do when the light bulb won’t stay on?
You’ve probably heard the stats about the increase in suicide and suicidal thoughts this year. If you aren’t struggling with it yourself you probably know somebody who is. The problem feels so serious that I hesitate to complain about my minor mood swings when there are so many people so much deeper in energy debt than me. It doesn’t seem fair to compare my inability to find the will to draw pictures with people who struggle to find the will to live. As a result I have a tendency to avoid the tough conversations. I try to project the image of somebody who has things figured out. That’s not good.
The truth is I am not a psychologist and you should be cautious about taking emotional advice from your eccentric artist friend. But when I get stuck, one thing that helps is realizing that I am not the only person who feels this way. Sometimes it just takes a few words from a friend to jiggle the loose bulb, to lend their weight to get that flywheel turning again. So if you are feeling it, I want you to know I feel it too. And I am here for you. Stay creative.
Your friend,
Adrian
P.S. In case you were wondering, replies to this mailing list go straight to my inbox and I read them. While I am incredibly unqualified to give psychological advice, I can offer to listen and share my stories. Don’t hesitate to contact me, especially as we are all going through tough times.